babies on iphone

Apple Pulls Baby Shaker App

baby shaking is not a good thing. sure, it's gotten a lot of press in the last couple of years. babysitters, crazy people, and just plain frustrated normal parents who take "rock-a-bye baby" just a bit too far.

sadly, my best friend and i will probably be sitting in hell together for a stunt we pulled one halloween, dressed as matching "shaken babies." yes, we may have taught classes to impressionable undergrads and yes, we may have attended our own very important advanced studios while impersonating said shaken babies, but we did pass out literature to educate and save other babies from our fate. still, we're probably going to hell.

now some studious computer programmers have created an app for your iphone and ipod to actual shake some computer babies to death:

The $1.19 game - one of thousands of so-called "apps" that Apple sells on its iTunes App Store - was called Baby Shaker and was taken down overnight after scores of complaints.

People who downloaded and played the game said the player had to shake the phone vigorously to stop the crying sound. The game ends when red crosses appear on the baby's eyes, signifying that it has died.

though intially the app made it through apple's rigourus check list to keep their store litigation free, the app only lasted a few hours before apple wised up and removed the app from the store. sensitive and wise move or limitation on free speech? eh, who knows. guess the limitations of bad taste fall somewhere beyond "pull my finger" fart app, but clearly before dead babies. for now.

LAHR is once again horrified by her relatives. You can't pick em, lyriella. you can't pick em.

finger lickin' good

babies smell good. that fresh, unspoiled newness. a slight essence of baby powder that sits on top of an empty palate. completely unpolluted by the world around them, even their inherited genes have yet to alter that perfect baby shell. is that what makes them so tasty? so you just want to bite off their little toes, like sinking your teeth through that little rubber figurine or brand new eraser?

can you grab a little of that newness for yourself? siphon off their purity and sponge yourself like an expensive facial? the baby drug is enticing, seductive, making you reach even for strangers' offspring. can we become so entranced, addicted to the baby drug to explain why the truly evil, corrupted, or just desperate people kidnap the innocent and do unmentionable, horrific things to cure their own bodies?





maybe we aren't quite so selfish. maybe the taste, the sweet smell gives us a whiff of hope, of what could be. a scent of the blank slate of future. or renewal. or legacy.
something we don't have to steal, but can borrow for a brief moment.










not all babies are quite so entrancing. baby pythons escaped into a passenger plane on a flight to australia. they still can't find them.

Baby pythons escape during flight in Australia

sleepy kisses

quiet times in baby land

fear

it is very hip here in the city to "wrap" your baby, to go natural instead of those bulky baby bjorn carriers. and i admit that the stylish women with their babies so casually attached as they peruse whole foods does have some appeal.



however, this is scary. this is wrong. good lord please don't let one of these creatures cross my path. New York has a frightening image of a "Peekaru" in use in the park. Yet another reason to restrict running to outside central park.

i'm sorry, i can't help but let you into my brain:

total recall

just another day of discovery

lahr is is already disgruntled that she doesn't have her own cell phone. don't worry lyriella there are lots to choose from: baby mobiles



















bibi whispers the truths about the family lahr has joined. lyriella, justifiably horrified.